I'm Not New

I'm not new to all this.  I have been blogging for about a year and a half.  I fell in love at first sight with the idea of putting my thoughts to the internet, to answering random questions posed by people I could not see, to meeting instant friends brought together by our love of doing this, here.

I started pouring out into my first blog.  I so very much wanted people to read it that I shouted it at the top of my lungs.  I posted links on Facebook.  I told my friends.  I told my parents.  I even took them to the site.  And then I wrote my first honest piece, only to be told from my Mom that she feels sad when I write about being upset.  I felt stuck in how far my content could go.

Then I created a new blog.  I didn't scream it as loudly.  I didn't actually tell my parents about it, but I linked to it from my old blog.  I flooded my former writing space with links to my new writing space in hopes that some of my 300+ followers would follow.  I wrote more honestly thinking less people who personally knew me were reading it.  One post I opened up about some childhood feelings only to receive an anonymous comment that sounded eerily family to my mom.  I felt stuck again.

So here I am.  Anonymous.  And yes, I totally get the irony of having to go anonymous to truly be myself.  Here I will be true.  I will never shy away from a subject.  I will never leave a question unanswered.  I am a very honest person, and finally I can be that here.

And anyways I still have that second blog that I can fill with sweet nothings, if nothing but for my mom's benefit.